At Least She's Now Gone

Honey got a nasty phone call from his mother. She wanted him to drive a u-Haul truck for her to her new home. Needless to say he refused. And then he asked why his sister couldn't do it. Well I guess her and her new boyfriend will be driving his sister's SUV with a trailer attached and his mother will be driving her car. Why the boyfriend or his sister can't drive the u-Haul and the other drive the SUV we have no idea.

But anyway, after a whole big argument over the phone, he owes her money again, we are terrible people, etc, etc. He asked her about the money that she claimed she was going to give to the baby for her education. Well, because honey has a good job and I have a good job(she doesn't know I'm in school) we can pay for it ourselves. His sister doesn't have these things, she needs money more than we do. So their little fight? Definitely over. Odds are seeing as his mother does not need the proceeds for a new house, will be handing over a significant sum of money to his sister. Zebras don't change their stripes.

On my way to school yesterday I saw his sister's SUV with a small u-Haul trailer attached sitting in front of his mother's house. Today as the baby and I drove by on the way to the bank, it was gone.There was a bunch of garbage behind the garage, no tire tracks leaving the garage in the snow, and no visible furniture in the living room window.

She's gone.....God willing for good.

Some More Confirmation

A few months back I talked about an interesting conversation that honey had with his grandfather's second ex wife. Honey's sister was getting a divorce and was with a new guy, his mother was with a new guy and was selling her house etc etc.We had some confirmation of the information she provided when I saw the for sale sign.

We discovered that his mother has had a house guest for the holidays. The vehicle matches what she said her new man drove and the plate is from where he is from. As such we assumed it was her boyfriend. Makes sense that they would spend Christmas together. On our way home from my aunt's house on Christmas Eve, we saw a new vehicle behind her garage. It was a truck, we couldn't tell the make, but one of her garage doors was open and we could see numerous people standing around. We assumed that it was his sister taking as much of the furniture as she wanted seeing as we declined it all. We were a bit surprised that his mother never called him over Christmas, even though he told her not to bother as he was "working overtime", she generally doesn't listen to him.

Yesterday I noticed that her boyfriend's car was still there. We had sort of thought that he would have gone home by now. Then honey went to visit his cousin but on his way they saw the truck behind his mother's garage again. This time he decided to play stalker/detective with his cousin. Sitting in his cousin's rather plain and inconspicuous car in the convenience store parking lot across the street from his mother's house, they watched as a group of people tried to load a fridge and a washer and dryer into this truck.

Again working on assumptions, he identified the men who he believed to be his mother and sisters' new boyfriends. Although I guess it's not that hard to do when there is only one older man and his sister was hanging off another. But there were two other younger people, one guy who left in the truck with his sister's new man, and a girl who hung around with her. From my Facebook stalking we are guessing that they were her boyfriend's younger brother and his sister.

What does all of this mean? Well, potentially that his mother lied to him. She told him that she wanted little to do with his sister as she didn't approve of how she ended her relationship because she cheated, particularly because she was still dating and living with the guy with whom she had been caught with. She also didn't approve of the fact that she had given up(as per usual) on her hair stylist dreams and had gone back to working at a car rental place. His mother had spent a ton of money on her school and it was pretty much pissed away. And then there was the fact that after all these years, his mother had finally realized that her daughter treats her like her own personal ATM and had made her over pay for TV's and other electronics and had basically paid twice for her car. But here they were, standing around, laughing and joking, very buddy buddy. Could she be faking? Sure. Do we think she was faking? No.

Second, we think that his mother's boyfriend is still around because the two of them are going back together. Between us driving by on Christmas Eve and what honey witnessed yesterday, his mother doesn't have much left in the way of furniture. Her house is now sold and apparently the possession date is in a few short weeks. If all the paperwork is signed and she has given all her stuff away, what is keeping her here?

The sooner she moves the better. The Christmas gifts really got under honey's skin. They are all out of our house now, but I know it bothers him that she did it. I really can't wait until she is out of our lives and can't bother us anymore.

It's Begun

My applying for jobs that is. I've been hitting the job websites every few days for some time now. I wanted to know what kinds of jobs were out there so that I could get a feel for the market in which I would soon be applying. And now, after being out of the workforce technically since the end of May 2010, but officially since mid September 2011, I am applying for these jobs.

I was working on my resume for one of my classes and ended up stumbling upon a position that would be great for me. I got some good feedback on my resume from both my instructor and a friend who works in HR and I ended up applying for it. Honestly, I didn't think much of it. I was shocked when I got a phone call asking me to come in for an interview!

I've applied for a few other jobs in the past week or so as well. I'm really optimistic about these jobs. I'm really excited about getting back into the workforce. Boxing Day sales were good to me and I was able to buy a bunch of new work clothes. And I'm excited to make my own money again. Not just to ease the current burden on honey. But being a dual income family again will allow us to purchase and move into our forever home. We can expand our family. We can do what we want.

Just Pathetic

Honey's mother felt that after three years she needed to buy stuff for him for Christmas and despite never having met our daughter that she needed gifts as well. A pathetic attempt to bribe him into going to her house for the holidays and see her one more time before she apparently leaves for her new home about nine hours away. Also an attempt to drive a wedge between honey and I. It worked, kinda, at first.

We were on the same page regarding the stuff she bought for the baby. We both agreed that someone who has never met our child, nor spell her name correctly does not deserve to purchase anything for her. We quickly donated the stuffed animal and book to a Christmas charity. A little girl will at least have a nice Christmas at her expense. The clothing we returned, as she was kind enough to include a gift receipt, to purchase something else.

But the gifts for him were a different story. For whatever reason, he felt that "she was trying" and "he should give her a chance" despite knowing full well that these were basically blood gifts. That we could be liable for repaying her full value plus some ungodly form of interest compounded by the minute or something because we've been there and done that. He finally realized that it was incredibly strange that she did give him stuff, five separate gifts in fact, all but one of which was from both her and her new boyfriend. He finally got that she dropped off these gifts at his cousin's workplace because he knew that she would never be able to give them to him herself. And he finally got that he got more presents in one Christmas(this one) than he had gotten from her in our entire relationship.

So we opened them. There was a jacket that was too small and some sweaters that he would never wear. Again she was kind enough to include a gift receipt. I returned them today and realized she spent a rather astonishing amount of money. Money that we then spent on the baby and new pillows with some left over. I'm thinking new towels!

Trying to Do the Impossible

I've become I guess the resume expert according to my husband. I tweaked his some time ago and it got him his dream job. I've since had lectures in school about how to create a good resume. With this new knowledge I reworked my own and it's at least gotten me an interview for a job that I would be perfect for. And I really don't think that my previous resume incarnation would have done so.

But with my resume as well as my husband's, I had something to work with. There was experience and education. Hard and soft skills, both applicable and transferable. But what he wants from me now I think is beyond any capability that I have. Actually, I think it would be a difficult task for a HR professional to create something out of nothing. What my husband wants is me to create a resume for his cousin. My problem? Where to begin?

Honey's cousin is 30 years old and for the past ten years or so, he has been a professional pizza delivery boy. he has no drive, no initiative, just doesn't care. How can I make that sound good? I almost can't.

Ugh, this sucks. All we are trying to do is help his and his girlfriend have a better life, not for them, but for their newborn baby girl. I don't even think his cousin will follow through anyway. He never has in the past. I just don't think, even though he now has a baby, that this time will be any different.

Been So Long

And I'm very sorry about that. It's just with school and everything I don't have a ton of time to get online. The little time that I do get is generally done via iPhone. And iPhone blogging is less than fun.

Things have been crazy with school. I have had lots of assignments in the past couple of months and this is my second exam week. And it seems for the second time, I have a teething baby during exams. She just cut three molars and I get the feeling that the fourth is coming in as we speak. Her sleep is terrible. Like she is freaking out right now and has been for about an hour. Plus she has a cold...that she gave to me.

To top it off, we have my father with us. He's been here for nearly two weeks now and when he is in town he stays with us. It's been pretty difficult. It's been kind of annoying having someone always be here and I feel almost judged. Like his comments about how "the baby must have had a bad night" Do you really think I need someone else to tell me that? Cuz I really don't. I can only imagine what he is going to say tomorrow morning. Man can't hear his name being spoken from right next to him but he can hear the baby having a hissy fit. At least he is leaving in a few days. Because I'm not sure how much more I can take.

Maybe, Just Maybe

Honey's grandfather's ex wife was right. In this post I mused about the interesting conversation they had. Well on my way to school on Thursday I noticed that there was a for sale sign on the lawn of my mother in law. I could barely believe it.

I quickly sent a text to honey, letting him know the news. Then I hoped onto the internet to check out the listing. Well the listing is laughable at best. For starters, the price it's listed at? It is a pipe dream, even our city's hot housing market. Like anywhere between ten and twenty thousand over what it's likely worth. Our guess is she is trying to cash in on the fact that it's likely overvalued by the city itself. I have to pass by her house twice a day and there is no avoiding it so I will know when/if it sells and I will contact our real estate agent friend to find out what it sold for. Gotta see if I'm right.

Second, the pictures are terrible. Now, real estate photography is generally not high quality anyway, but that's not what I'm talking about. It's what the pictures are of that is the terrible part. I'm a nomad and my parents have bought/sold houses, honey and I sold a house and we attend numerous open houses and check out many listings online. I know what listing pictures should look like. These aren't it. There is clutter all over the place. Random boxes sitting all over the place in the bedrooms, junk in total disarray in the storage room that kind of thing. And I was annoyed to see on her fridge, a picture of honey that was taken about 12 years ago. This is a new fridge, so it's not a case of forgetting to take it down after our wedding fiasco, she would have had to purposely put it on there. The outside picture has snow on the ground meaning it would have been taken in the past couple of days, so presumably the indoor pictures were taken at the same time.

Now why do I care about all this? Well if his grandfather's ex wife is correct, honey's mother is moving outside our province. This means that it will become highly unlikely that she will bother to call him. We can finally be rid of her. So if she is gone, add that to the fact that we don't think his sister lives in the city anymore, our lives can be like those of normal people. You know, people who don't worry that their family will see them and cause a scene? I could deal with that.

Boo at the Zoo Family Fun

Our city is one of many that puts on Boo at the Zoo for Halloween. I had always wanted to take my kids there once I had them. We didn't go last year as she was still really little, but this year we figured that she would actually get something out of it.

She had more fun that I even though she would. At the entrance they had a setup a local wildlife rehab organization with some birds of prey. They are unreleasable for whatever reason and are used for education. When I was a kid, my dad volunteered for this organization and he was a handler for their great horned owl. I zeroed in on the owl they had and I got a great picture with it and me holding the baby. We also saw a beautiful falcon.

We get inside the gates and we are greeted by volunteers in animal costumes waving and dancing around. The baby was on her daddy's shoulders and I could see just how excited she was. She was up high with a great view of all the sights and sounds around her. The lights were just so amazing to her. Her eyes were wide and she was making her happy noises with the biggest smile on her face, just taking it all in. Even on our long walk back to car she was laughing and enjoying herself which was a huge plus because it was baby bedtime by then.

This is probably my favourite part of being a parent, watching my little girl experience her world with her mom and dad at her side. She just gets so excited about what is going on around her. It's so much fun to watch.

An Interesting Conversation

You might remember my hysterical laughter about my sister in law's separation from this post. Well I have a bit of an update on that and I'm unsure what to think about it.

Honey ran into his grandfather's second wife last night. Yes I know his family seems to enjoy divorce. Both his parents and grandfather, as well as my father have all been married three times, a trend honey and I wish to buck. They hadn't seen each other nor spoken in well over five years so it was a bit of a random chance encounter.

Well I guess she had either seen or spoken to honey's sister, or maybe even his mother. We got further confirmation that his sister and her husband are split up, and for far longer than we thought. She says it happened in March, we thought it happened in or around early July. We found out the reason, apparently he caught her cheating on him with another guy. Now we had assumed that she had "done" something to be the cause of the divorce as honey's mother had called him asking him to get a gang of guys together to go break down the door of his sisters house because her husband wasn't letting her in. While I may never have been divorced before, my understanding of divorce law(from grade twelve and my own parent's divorce) is that there are only certain circumstances in which one spouse can legally not allow the other back into the marital home. Needless to say honey refused this request. Well his grandfather's ex told him the name of the man his sister cheated with and is apparently now living with.

Now I don't generally believe anything that anyone in his family says without independent confirmation. We've been lied to far too many times. So back to Facebook I went. I found a person on her friends list with the same name of her so called new boyfriend. I checked him out. A fairly locked down profile, but I did see that he has at least one sister and at least one younger brother. The younger brother's profile was fairly open. He just graduated this year, honey's sister was at his grad dinner. So yes, his grandmother's ex seemed to be correct in her information, his sister and this person seem to be together.

She also mentioned that his sister had tried to write off two vehicles in one fell swoop awhile back by running them into each other. The insurer for all intents and purposes told them where to go. This not being the first time that she tried to defraud the company. That explains why we hadn't seen either of these very unique and noticeable trucks in months.

To top it off, honey's mother supposedly has a new boyfriend herself and is planning a move about five hours from here with said new boyfriend. She's been "moving" for years now so we'll see if we see her house up for sale anytime soon. It's right off the main road that I take to school every single day so we'd know almost the second it went on the market.

So it was a very interesting and eye opening conversation to say the least. His family is never without their drama and seeing as we no longer speak to most of them we aren't usually kept in the loop. So it's good to know the latest happenings. It's all just so weird.

I'm Quite Likely in Trouble

We skipped Thanksgiving this year. My family decided that nobody wanted to cook this year, even though my dad and his girlfriend who are staying with us this weekend offered to do it. So they chose to eat at a hotel with a buffet instead, at 6pm. My kid goes to be at 7pm, give or take no more than ten minutes. And the hotel is located a good twenty minute drive from our house. Does this sound like a recipe for disaster for you too? Because it does for me and hubby.

I told my dad I didn't like this plan. I told him it really conflicted with my rather regimented schedule for the baby. But they didn't either A) want to order it in from the hotel, B) eat at 3pm, or C) cook themselves. I told him I made no guarantees we will be there. We didn't go.

Instead our family of three spent the day in a beautiful small town about two hours from here. We walked along the water, looked at the boats and just enjoyed the wonderful weather, just our little family. We had a simple dinner of spaghetti at home and the baby went to bed easily and right on time.

My dad called me wondering where we were. He was rather shocked when I told him, even though it's not so far fetched. We are known to take the baby out for mini road trips to new and exciting places. But I could hear the disappointment in his voice when he realized that we weren't coming. I told him we never said for sure that we would be able to make it, and that I was very unhappy with what time it was.

So this is pretty much the first time that I've done this, skipped a family meal I mean. I'm anticipating some serious fallout. I'll likely be hearing about this until Christmas. But I'm not worried. I come from a very small family. My dad has one sister who only has one child and then I'm an only child. Other than my daughter, the last baby to be born in our family was me. So they just don't get that she has a schedule and we stick to it like glue. Having her eat supper and then go to bed late is among the worst ideas in human history. I can safely say that all the other diners would be giving thanks that we stayed home. Kidlet isn't thirteen weeks and super portable, will sleep anywhere, only to wake up every few hours to eat. Nor is she thirteen years with bedtime of 10pm and easily adaptable to change. She is thirteen months, so very dependent on her routine. I will defend our choice to the end and I will not feel badly that we skipped a restaurant Thanksgiving.

Family Fun

Today we took a family trip to the local Children's Museum. They have just recently renovated and re-opened with all new exhibits. There were two in particular I wanted to see, the train and the tiny tots area.

We first hit the tiny tots area. It's a little section specifically for those under the age of two! There is a little gate and the floor is totally padded and all the toys are the perfect height for an older baby or young toddler. Sensory toys are a big hit with her any day of the week so she was enthralled by some little bells. Much fun for a little girl just exploring her world. And just as fun for us to watch.

Next was the train. Hubby happens to work for the same rail company that this refurbished locomotive ran for and is apparently now a walking train encyclopedia. I got a mechanic lesson whilst the baby got to enjoy touching the valves and walking along the side. She also go to sit in the conductor's chair. I was a bit sad to see that the former dining car has been transformed into what I'm not sure. But the locomotive itself was still for the most part the same as it was when I was a kid. Except this time I went with someone who fixes them for a living ;)

There were still many parts of the museum that aren't fit for little kids. There is a large play structure, some water tables and a building area that are too big for her. But soon enough she will want to play there.

It was $20 for the three of us(with girlie still being under one she was free) and while some may think for only being able to use about 1/4 of the museum it wasn't worth it. But we disagree. It was a chance for us to do something as a family. And it's a place where she could explore and experience things she's never experienced before. We don't feel we can put a price on what our kids learn. We have a very adventurous little girl and we don't want to stifle that.

Busy Days

Today we went to a festival in the country. I figured it would be a good change of pace for us and it was somewhere I wanted to go anyway. SO MUCH FUN!

All the people that the baby was able to see and hear, it was really good for her. We were able to buy some fresh corn and we checked out the petting zoo. Our girlie loves animals so I figured she would enjoy it. Well not only did she enjoy it, she cried when we had to leave. She got to see lambs, goats, chickens and bunnies. Love that she loves animals!

Summer is coming to an end, so I'm really glad that her and I are able to do things like this together.

Shoes

So we went shoe shopping today, the baby and I. Everyone needed new shoes. I need a new pair of black heeled boots for winter, hubby needed runners and my girlie needed rubber boots(and any other cute shoe I might come across)

First stop, for the baby. Seeing as she is now a walker and adventurous at that, I figured it would be best to have some rubber boots for the fall. But I looked pretty much everywhere and even online. I found some online but they were SO expensive for something that was only going to be worn for a month of two. I had all but given up actually. But I ran into a store and happened to come across them, on sale to boot. At first I thought they were probably too big, but nope size 5! Super cute leopard print with pink trim. Love em!

Then for hubby. I found a cheap pair of runners that were also on sale. He doesn't need anything fancy and he's not that hard on his shoes. They'll work.

Then there is me. Store after store there was nothing. The one pair that I eventually found that looked right didn't feel right. So I go home empty handed. It's apparently too difficult to ask for a pair of black leather boots that go up at least an inch over the ankle with at least a slightly chunky heel with either a square or pointed toe.....sigh

Dreams and I Know My Kid Better Than You

Since having a baby, my dreams have gone incredibly weird. Not only are they weird, but they seem to have various elements of the truth to them. People I know and situations that have or very well could happen. Cue my dream last night.

We(mostly me) have some very different ideas and philosophies on parenting. And we know we have a very capable little girl. We know when she needs us. But in my dream, my grandmother was throwing a fit because I hadn't gone to pick up the baby from her crib. Then she had someone go get her against my explicit instructions.

So my point to this. Every time we have some sort of family thing we(I) get questioned or second guessed. I'm really not a fan of this. The last baby in the family was me. Lots has changed in well over twenty years. The next family gathering(barring someone dying) will be our little girl's first birthday. I'm already in a small panic over what we could end up with in terms of birthday presents. I'm worried about what might be said about how we parent in our very own home. 

I know my kid better than anyone in the world. I know her strengths and her weaknesses. I know when she is hurt and when she is just crying from shock. And I don't like when people concern themselves about it. And I come from a family of sort of busy body type people. Should be interesting.

Bwahahahahahahaha

There is really no point to this other than to gloat, if only to myself. My sister in law is separated from her husband, for we believe at least a month. HA!

Back story. Hubby and I don't get along with his mother or sister. They are serious wack jobs. We haven't spoken to his sister since our wedding almost three years ago and he only talks to his mother once in a blue moon. But his sister and her husband were supposed to be the golden couple, perfect in every way. They got married a year before us in 2007 after dating for well under a year.

So how do I learn this? A girl I went to elementary school was arrested for possible involvement in gangs. I was looking for her on my Facebook page and didn't find her. I thought maybe she deleted her account or just removed me as a friend. I remembered that she happens to be friends with a guy that my sister in law is friends with. Yes I know this is super obscure, but I have a strange memory for these kinds of things. I remember this guy in particular because until recently he drove a nearly identically modified truck as she does(did? we're not sure). Not remembering his name, I searched for sister in law. Page looks the same, hasn't changed her profile pic in well over 6 months. One of her friends shown is her husband, but he has no profile pic. For pretty much ever it had been a shot of him, with her but her pretty much cut off. Now nothing. I click on his page. What is his relationship status? Separated! Bwhahahahaha! I go back into sister in law's page, it's fairly locked down but I can look at her profile pics. There were a few pictures of the two of them in there, gone now! Interestingly there is a picture of herself in her wedding dress left up there, but one of the two of them together is gone. Bwhahaha

Ok, now I'm sure you think I'm a terrible person for being so incredibly happy about this. But I don't have the time to tell you all the hell that hubby and I have been through with his family. They treated us like less than people. Cockroaches got more respect than we did. And hubby and I weren't supposed to last this long. It was supposed to be us divorcing. We have stuck by each other through so much shit. We have made it through to the other side, stronger than ever.

I took a quick check of the courts registry and there is nothing there yet for startings of divorce proceedings. But, only perhaps a month into separation that's not unexpected. I'll have to keep up to date on this. I feel vindicated, and I know he does too.

Lord....

I apologize for my absence yesterday...but I was busy with my mom. Why? My husband accidentally set her house on fire! We're lucky as there was minimal damage as the house is still standing. There is a hole in the roof where the firefighters accessed the attic and her living room is water damaged and she is going to have to have the house cleaned for smoke but overall it was not that bad.

She's been set up in an apartment for the time being and is actually over there right now with the contractors and insurance company. It still seems so surreal right now. My husband feels utterly terrible about it. He really loves my mom as she treats him like her own and he does all he can for her. And now she's (technically) homeless.

On the bright side, she could be back in her own house as early as 30 days, but potentially out for 3 months. She's now more worried that my grandmother won't make the 500km trip for the baby's first birthday. But her temporary apartment is a 2 bedroom so we have hope.

So when you think that something like a fire can't happen to your family, guess again.

Summer Fun in the Sun & Sand

Mondays are my husbands Sundays. So with that and the fact it was over 30 degrees yesterday we packed up the baby and headed to the beach for the very first time the season. More importantly it was our little girl's first beach trip!

We went to a small man made beach only a few kilometers north of the city. I hadn't been there since I was a teenager actually as hubby and I prefer a larger beach that's further outside town. But as it was later in the day and we didn't want to drive an hour we went to this one.

It was surprisingly busy for a Monday. People on holidays or just taking the extra day off perhaps. But we still found a nice spot to leave the stroller and towels and after slathering on the sunscreen we headed into the water.

My girl is a water baby so we figured she'd like it. At first we went a bit too deep for her and we think she was too cold. Her and I went a bit closer to shore where she could sit in the very shallow water and explore this new environment. She splashed and picked up handfuls of sand and had so much fun. So a great success! We didn't stay long as she was getting tired and we didn't want to keep her outside for very long even though she was well hydrated and covered in sunscreen and a UV swimsuit and hat. So we dried off and had a snack and started back off for home.

So my girlie's first trip to the beach was super fun. Provided the weather is good, we'll likely be taking her many more times before the fall. She likes it, we like it, the sun is shining and it's not 40 below. What more can you ask for?