Newest Daycare Dilema

So I thought I had it all sorted out. As it turns out, possibly not so much. I got a phone call from a DHP today. She might have a spot for the baby, but it depends on whether or not she chooses to take two pre-schoolers or one pre-schooler and an infant.

She basically called to find out what I meant by the fact that I'd need late care. I really, probably don't. As long as the place is near enough to hubby's work, he could have her picked up between 4-4:30. This place is actually less than 5 minutes away from the yards.

But this would be my 3rd dayhome I'd be going through. I feel so conflicted on what to do and I don't even know for sure if I could get the baby into the 3rd place.

I went from having no place to put her to apparently too many places.

Swimming Lesson Registration Gong Show

This is my second session registering for swimming lessons. First time was such a mess. I had pre-registered myself for online registration. After about two hours I was finally able to access the online registry. The I found out that they only added me and not the baby. So I had to go in person and wait for another hour because I couldn't get through via phone.

So I knew better this time around. It still took nearly an hour to get online. And almost every weekend class was filled. I was able to get my name on the wait list for a few of them. I do have her registered in a class, it's just not ideal. But I guess it's better than nothing.

Family Fun

Today we took a family trip to the local Children's Museum. They have just recently renovated and re-opened with all new exhibits. There were two in particular I wanted to see, the train and the tiny tots area.

We first hit the tiny tots area. It's a little section specifically for those under the age of two! There is a little gate and the floor is totally padded and all the toys are the perfect height for an older baby or young toddler. Sensory toys are a big hit with her any day of the week so she was enthralled by some little bells. Much fun for a little girl just exploring her world. And just as fun for us to watch.

Next was the train. Hubby happens to work for the same rail company that this refurbished locomotive ran for and is apparently now a walking train encyclopedia. I got a mechanic lesson whilst the baby got to enjoy touching the valves and walking along the side. She also go to sit in the conductor's chair. I was a bit sad to see that the former dining car has been transformed into what I'm not sure. But the locomotive itself was still for the most part the same as it was when I was a kid. Except this time I went with someone who fixes them for a living ;)

There were still many parts of the museum that aren't fit for little kids. There is a large play structure, some water tables and a building area that are too big for her. But soon enough she will want to play there.

It was $20 for the three of us(with girlie still being under one she was free) and while some may think for only being able to use about 1/4 of the museum it wasn't worth it. But we disagree. It was a chance for us to do something as a family. And it's a place where she could explore and experience things she's never experienced before. We don't feel we can put a price on what our kids learn. We have a very adventurous little girl and we don't want to stifle that.

An Almost Full-Time Walker

It's been a few weeks since our no longer a baby baby took her very first steps. Took a bit, but she is getting more confident every day. While she still prefers to crawl as it's faster, she is toddling around without even thinking about it. Pretty cool!

But now I'm concerned for how much longer I can keep her confined in a stroller or shopping cart without her wanting to get out and walk on her own. If we are in a baby clothing store, she wants to get out and play not just sit. The logistics of grocery shopping with a toddler who would rather walk than sit in the cart escape me.

Frightening how fast she is growing up.

Busy Days

Today we went to a festival in the country. I figured it would be a good change of pace for us and it was somewhere I wanted to go anyway. SO MUCH FUN!

All the people that the baby was able to see and hear, it was really good for her. We were able to buy some fresh corn and we checked out the petting zoo. Our girlie loves animals so I figured she would enjoy it. Well not only did she enjoy it, she cried when we had to leave. She got to see lambs, goats, chickens and bunnies. Love that she loves animals!

Summer is coming to an end, so I'm really glad that her and I are able to do things like this together.

Is It Illegal to Sell an 11 Month Old?

I really want to.

I'm on my last nerve with this kid. She's whiny, won't nap and ever so clingy. I'm in desperate need of a break.

And now I'm seriously concerned about how she is going to do with daycare. She is a super fun and adventurous little girl, but at the same time, she is really demanding. I've heard stories of dayhome providers giving their two weeks notice to parents because they just can't deal with the child. If that happened I don't know what we would do. Or after two weeks it's just not working for us and we pulled her out.

I've tried calling the two daycare centres that I would love to get her into. No spots for the foreseeable future. And not only is that annoying in an of itself, but I feel so misled by these places that seemed to think I could get in within a few months.

So stressed.

Toy Giveaway!

Every little girl needs her own person. In this post here, fellow mom blogger Not Just Baby Brain is running a giveaway for pink toy purse. She notes that this toy has an age of 3 months and up. But you can see in her pics that both her girls (5 months and a two year old) both like it. So it's one of those toys that can really grow with a little girl and even though it's a "baby" toy, toddlers will enjoy it as well.

Check it out!

So Much to Do, So Don't Want to Do It

I have a lot to do today. I need to at least get the baby laundry done and I want to go down to the Legislative Building to sign the book of condolences for Jack Layton. I also need to get rid of an area rug in the dining room, empty the dishwasher and clean up the kitchen. I should probably vacuum and do a load of adult clothes as well.

But I just don't want to. I'm burnt out. I've been making sure the world didn't come to an end for nearly eleven and a half months now. Cooking, cleaning and watching a very busy little baby. I'm just tired. But I slept fairly well last night. This is a different kind of tired I guess. I'm just done. Motivation is gone. Everything is just such a big chore and my body doesn't want to do it anymore. And I don't feel like a very good mom. I don't like this.

A Sad Day for My Country

NDP leader, and the Lead of the Official Opposition, Jack Layton passed away this morning. He lost a battle with cancer at just 61 years old. I'm a hard-core NDP supporter and I'm so saddened by this news. He worked so hard, not just for those who would vote NDP, but for those with all political stripes.

This is a sad day, not just for me, but for all Canadians.

Shoes

So we went shoe shopping today, the baby and I. Everyone needed new shoes. I need a new pair of black heeled boots for winter, hubby needed runners and my girlie needed rubber boots(and any other cute shoe I might come across)

First stop, for the baby. Seeing as she is now a walker and adventurous at that, I figured it would be best to have some rubber boots for the fall. But I looked pretty much everywhere and even online. I found some online but they were SO expensive for something that was only going to be worn for a month of two. I had all but given up actually. But I ran into a store and happened to come across them, on sale to boot. At first I thought they were probably too big, but nope size 5! Super cute leopard print with pink trim. Love em!

Then for hubby. I found a cheap pair of runners that were also on sale. He doesn't need anything fancy and he's not that hard on his shoes. They'll work.

Then there is me. Store after store there was nothing. The one pair that I eventually found that looked right didn't feel right. So I go home empty handed. It's apparently too difficult to ask for a pair of black leather boots that go up at least an inch over the ankle with at least a slightly chunky heel with either a square or pointed toe.....sigh

(Mis)Adventures in Cake-Making

I've been instructed that for my little girl's first birthday, I must make the cake. Ya I don't really bake, brownies here and there, but an actual cake? You've got to be kidding me.

I successfully made cupcakes using cake mix. So I thought making a cake with cake mix should be just as easy. Well it wasn't. It took far longer than the box said to cook and the middle sunk in a bit. This just wasn't going to work. It tasted ok, but not enough taste and the sunken middle won't ice well.

I talked to a friend who makes cakes as a hobby. Apparently the cake mixes are too light and airy which is why mine sank, so she gave me a different recipe to try. It will weight the cake and give it more flavour. I think I'll try it sometime this week. I really want to get it right. Even if that means hubby has to take a whole bunch of cakes to work so that I don't eat them all.

Dreams and I Know My Kid Better Than You

Since having a baby, my dreams have gone incredibly weird. Not only are they weird, but they seem to have various elements of the truth to them. People I know and situations that have or very well could happen. Cue my dream last night.

We(mostly me) have some very different ideas and philosophies on parenting. And we know we have a very capable little girl. We know when she needs us. But in my dream, my grandmother was throwing a fit because I hadn't gone to pick up the baby from her crib. Then she had someone go get her against my explicit instructions.

So my point to this. Every time we have some sort of family thing we(I) get questioned or second guessed. I'm really not a fan of this. The last baby in the family was me. Lots has changed in well over twenty years. The next family gathering(barring someone dying) will be our little girl's first birthday. I'm already in a small panic over what we could end up with in terms of birthday presents. I'm worried about what might be said about how we parent in our very own home. 

I know my kid better than anyone in the world. I know her strengths and her weaknesses. I know when she is hurt and when she is just crying from shock. And I don't like when people concern themselves about it. And I come from a family of sort of busy body type people. Should be interesting.

Giveaway!

Fellow Canadian mommy blogger Not Just Baby Brain is running another giveaway. This post outlines her t-shirt review from Costume Squad and subsequent giveaway. With Halloween coming up faster than I'm sure most people think, a gift card for a cool costume or a sweet t-shirt would go a long way seeing as I won't be working ;)

Busy Phone Day

This morning I mostly spent on the phone trying to get things organized for September. It's going to be a busy month with lots of appointments and starting the baby at daycare. I already had an appointment booked for my IUD and I already had an appointment booked for her 12 month shots. But her appointment was at a time that I intend on having her in daycare so that just wasn't going to work for me. So I changed it.

Then I wanted to have her first dentist appointment as well. It's free until the age of three here. I have hugely massive issues with dentists. I honestly terrified of them and it stems back to when I was 3-4 years old and I was told point blank that I would need surgery because my jaw doesn't line up. Very scary to me, and it's stuck with me 20 years later. We have a kid centred dentistry practise here. While they are 20% more expensive than a traditional dentist, even one who accepts children like my own does, it's worth it to me to have someone who just, and as such knows, how to deal with kids. Booking that appointment went well and there won't be any conflicts with other appointments or daycare.

Then I had to send an email. I needed to contact the original dayhome that we were going to send the baby to and tell her we would no longer be needing her. That was interesting, "breaking up" with someone who we've not used. We'll see if she emails me back or not.

The rest of August is just going to disappear. Then September will be so busy, October and school for me starts. Then the snow will fly. Then it will be 2012! Time just flies by.

A Giveaway for Mommy!

A Sophisticated Mommy has had more great giveaways than I can count for cool stuff for baby. I've been lucky enough to win one of her baby related giveaways. This time she has a giveaway for the sophisticated mommy. In this post she did a review of the Canadian cosmetic company Mistura Beauty Solutions. As someone always on the lookout for natural looking and easy to use makeup this is for sure a line that I will be looking into.

Corn!

In and around my city, there are some great corn growers. In our climate, it's not usually ready until mid-August, so until them if you want corn on the cob, you need to buy American. There was a side of the road seller trying to pass off American corn as local. It was met with quite the hullabaloo.

I love going to the Farmer's Market, at least on Saturdays and I try to go on Wednesdays as well. Today we were able to make it and the first thing I see is it's pretty busy for a Wednesday. Why? Fresh local corn!

I picked up some to BBQ for dinner tonight. I've never BBQ'd corn before so it should be interesting. If it goes well, I'll be picking up some more on Saturday. Yay for fresh, local produce!

Temptation to Shop

There seem to be some wicked sales lately that I desperately want to buy things from. I've picked up some fun things from A Children's Place and Old Navy to get me through fall and winter but I know I don't have quite enough yet. My mom keeps telling me not to buy anything else for the baby because her birthday is coming up. But it's just so hard to resist buying cute jeans and tops for her.

In the past week I've kept myself to one pair of 18 month jeans and one 18 month bathing suit. But I was just on some online sites and it was nearly impossible to resist a buy one get two free t-shirt sale! Only a month and a half to her birthday party. Hopefully I can make it that long.

And a Month it Is

So I took the spot with the dayhome that we went to see today. She had a big yard for the kids to play in, friendly dogs and a patient cat and seemed like a nice lady. Hubby thinks that the house is a bit run down. Well so is the house that we were originally going to send her to. Older homes with kids running around, you expect some wear and tear. So it's not something that worried me.

It's only temporary. And it will work for now. The baby responded to her and seemed happy. I don't have any gut feelings of badness and she is licensed by the province.

September 19, daycare here we come.

Or Maybe a Month?

So the lady with a spot in two weeks has yet to email me back. Instead I got an email from a licensed provider who has a space September 18(well 19). Reading through her profile on the licensed child care search she seems like a good fit. Not sure what she charges yet but provides lunch and two snacks. She has pets(dogs I believe) but we have a dog so that's not an issue. Her hours are good, course we don't know what days she takes off. She is walking distance to my mom's house meaning that she is only a touch out of the way for hubby to take her or if my school schedule co-operates I could take her, leave my car and bus it the rest of the way.

We meet tomorrow afternoon. I think that it could be a good option for us until I get us into a centre. Fingers crossed for a good meeting tomorrow!

Garage Sale Success!

Despite a few silly people trying to haggle with me(on quarter items no less!) my sale was a rousing success! I made about $150 and got rid of a whole bunch of junk. My dad brought everything upstairs for us and my mom took care of the baby. I don't even have to set up tomorrow! All we have left is two boxes of random stuff that was up for 25 cents anyway that will be going to Value Village or whatever and a bag of books, also being sold for a quarter that will be donated to the Children's Hospital used book sale.

Now hopefully the bank tellers won't hate me when I bring in $18 worth of twonies and lord only knows how many quarters ;)

Another Cool Giveaway!

I love books. I'm not much into reading for myself very much these days, but every night before bed I snuggle with my little girl and we read a book. Well I read aloud, she turns the pages every once and awhile. So that's why this giveaway from Ashley at Tales of Mommyhood is so cool to me. She did a review for Little Green Books. Not only are they printed on 100% recycled paper, but their books are about recycling and endangered species and how to be eco-friendly. Awesome!!

Two Weeks?

I posted an ad looking for daycare in our area last night. I got a response. I'm not sure where she is located yet, but a quick canada411 search of her last name tells me that she might be walking distance. In her email she states that she will have a spot within two weeks. Two weeks!

Course I haven't met this person yet, nor do I know her hours or rates or whether or not we will be comfortable with her. But it seems surreal that I could be dropping off my little baby in two weeks! I'm not ready for this. She's too small, too reliant on me. It's just too soon.

Daycare Troubles

So I have a daycare spot, I suppose I should be grateful for that. But now that we've moved and hubby has a new job it's just not that convenient anymore. It's close to our old house, which is nearby where I'll be going to school so what is the problem? Well I don't want to have to drive. It will cost us an extra $350 a year in car insurance and at least three times more in gas. Plus I'll have to pay to park on campus, assuming of course I can even get a parking space.

So I've been calling and emailing trying to find care elsewhere. But it's apparently optional to respond to emails these days so I really don't know what is going to happen. I'm frustrated. I'm trying to get things ready for her to go to daycare. I've got her backpack and her labels and have already started to label her shoes and jackets. I just want everything set in stone so I can really start getting ready. October 3rd I go back to school, October 4th I need to have something set up for care. If not I don't go to school or hubby doesn't go to work.

Frustrating, very frustrating.

She Can Walk!

My little girl is a big girl and she can walk all on her own! I'm so proud, she is so proud, it's just so amazing. She's still not that steady on her feet and she can only take a few steps at a time before she falls, but it's a start. Such an exciting time to watch her learn and explore.

My baby isn't a baby anymore.

Bwahahahahahahaha

There is really no point to this other than to gloat, if only to myself. My sister in law is separated from her husband, for we believe at least a month. HA!

Back story. Hubby and I don't get along with his mother or sister. They are serious wack jobs. We haven't spoken to his sister since our wedding almost three years ago and he only talks to his mother once in a blue moon. But his sister and her husband were supposed to be the golden couple, perfect in every way. They got married a year before us in 2007 after dating for well under a year.

So how do I learn this? A girl I went to elementary school was arrested for possible involvement in gangs. I was looking for her on my Facebook page and didn't find her. I thought maybe she deleted her account or just removed me as a friend. I remembered that she happens to be friends with a guy that my sister in law is friends with. Yes I know this is super obscure, but I have a strange memory for these kinds of things. I remember this guy in particular because until recently he drove a nearly identically modified truck as she does(did? we're not sure). Not remembering his name, I searched for sister in law. Page looks the same, hasn't changed her profile pic in well over 6 months. One of her friends shown is her husband, but he has no profile pic. For pretty much ever it had been a shot of him, with her but her pretty much cut off. Now nothing. I click on his page. What is his relationship status? Separated! Bwhahahahaha! I go back into sister in law's page, it's fairly locked down but I can look at her profile pics. There were a few pictures of the two of them in there, gone now! Interestingly there is a picture of herself in her wedding dress left up there, but one of the two of them together is gone. Bwhahaha

Ok, now I'm sure you think I'm a terrible person for being so incredibly happy about this. But I don't have the time to tell you all the hell that hubby and I have been through with his family. They treated us like less than people. Cockroaches got more respect than we did. And hubby and I weren't supposed to last this long. It was supposed to be us divorcing. We have stuck by each other through so much shit. We have made it through to the other side, stronger than ever.

I took a quick check of the courts registry and there is nothing there yet for startings of divorce proceedings. But, only perhaps a month into separation that's not unexpected. I'll have to keep up to date on this. I feel vindicated, and I know he does too.

Hair Cut!

I got my hair cut today! Hubby took care of the baby and I went and got my hair cut! I feel so much better. It looks better, it's lighter and has texture and shape and dimension. About frigging time!

I had been musing about it for so long as my last hair cut was months and months ago. But it was at the hair dressing school and it wasn't quite what I was looking for. But it was like $15 so how can you really complain that much?

But this, this was actually done by a very old friend. I knew she had finished school and I knew she was working at a salon that I actually used to frequent pre-baby. Wandering through the mall I happened to run into her while she was on her lunch and after a brief chat we booked me an appointment.

Two hours later and I now have a simpler hair cut with some nice red hilights that contrast very well with my dark brown hair. Red has always gone really well with my naturally dark hair. It makes the brown pop more and adds some dimension to the colour. Plus hubby loves red hair..... ;)

Garage Sale Musings

So after months I finally got around to it and priced everything in my basement for my garage sale. It took an hour so I'm really not sure why I put it off for so long. And considering almost all of my items are priced for quick sale, there was really no thinking involved. My signs are ready to be put up and my ad is online. All I have to do is head to the bank for change and I'll be all set to get rid of a small mountain of stuff that is currently lining 2/3 of one of my basement walls.

I'm really not looking forward to this sale. I fear it's going to be more trouble than it's worth. I fear people are going to haggle with me over a $2 iron or a 50 cent rolling pin. Seriously, can you get a better deal? I don't deal well with people like that. Which is why I'm concerned. Should be interesting to say the least. My mom should hopefully be able to come over to help out with the baby. Almost makes me think I should have just called Goodwill or something to come pick it all up.

Too late now. Hopefully I can make a few bucks.

The Arguement for Extremely Part-Time Work

So we all know that my husband wants me to basically be on the run 7 days a week, go to school Monday-Friday and work Saturday and Sunday. Well that sure as hell isn't going to happen, good old student loans will take care of me having to work every single weekend. But I got to thinking last night, wouldn't it be nice to work one or two days a month? Just to have maybe an extra $100-150 in my bank account for spending money?

Now I know you're thinking who in the world will hire someone to work a a few days a month? I don't even have the answer to that yet. But I am going to call up a very old friend who is an assistant manager at a sports team store and see what he can do for me. It's possible that he could use someone as a relief weekend worker. He and I have known each other for nearly 10 years and we worked together for a few of those. It's worth a shot to see what, if anything he can do for me.

The Arguement for Student Loans

So with back to school commercials and sales in full swing, I realize that my start date is coming ever closer. So much for burying my head in the sand.

I went down to the employment office as I had heard that if you were on EI(which I am for mat leave) that you can extend your claim and/or they might provide financial assistance for tuition. Well I'm on the wrong kind of EI so it was a bust. But I did learn that if you apply for Student Aid, even if you don't take the loan, you might qualify for up to $350 a month in government grants if you have a dependent.

Well I don't know if I have the grants yet because I have to go down to school to find out for some reason, but I learned that I can get a few thousand dollars in loans. Now I have the money in the bank to actually pay for tuition and books, but taking the money would make it possible for me to not have to work part-time while I'm in school. I would basically pay myself the way I had been paid before, covering only the bare essentials, then the second I get a real job, I put anything left(I calculate at least 1/3) will go right back on the loan and I start paying it back right away instead of waiting for the 6 month grace period. I also pay back as much as I can and not the bare minimum.

When we worked out our budget, hubby would be paying for pretty much everything. Daycare, food, all the bills. I would just need to cover my car; the loan, gas and insurance. Sale of our house covered the insurance, paying it til mid June 2012. So it's the loan and gas I have to worry about. To cover it I would have to work every Saturday and Sunday, probably in retail, and probably for minimum wage.

So in addition to being a mom, a wife, a cook, a maid and a full-time student...I'd also get to be part-time employee. Lovely. I know me, it just won't work. School will suffer and I really don't want that. There is no sense in me going back to school if I am not going to apply myself and do well.

I think taking the money is a great idea, my mom thinks taking the money is a great idea, some ladies on an online forum I frequent think it's a great idea....then there is my husband. He thinks it's a terrible idea. He thinks that there is no sense me getting another student loan when I just paid one off. He thinks that he was able to work weekends while going to school so I should be able to as well. I think he is nuts. For starters, we lived literally 25 feet from school. Travel time was non existent. And second, and I think this is the kicker, WE HAD NO BABY! And I know he isn't going to be able to take over caring for the baby 100% when I'm in school. So it's a whole different monster.

Begrudgingly he signed the papers on the spouse line. I'm going down to the office today to hand in my paperwork. If I am going to do this, I'm going to do it right.

Garbage Day

Today was garbage day on my street. I take great pride in the fact that I usually have a 2-1 ratio of full recycling bins to garbage cans. Today I had two full bins and one half fun bin to a half full 121L garbage can. I felt pretty darn good. My garbage can consisted of a kitchen garbage bag, a few shopping bags that had some dog poop in them and a green garbage bag that had the contents of the diaper genie, kitchen garbage, bathroom garbage and the cat litter. Really I could have not even put the can out, if I had not already thrown out the first kitchen bag, I could have had just one large garbage bag next to my overflowing recycling bings.

So what is my point to this? There are a few decently sized families next to me. My neighbors next to me are a 5 person family including a teenage and across from me they are also a five person family. How on earth does that mean they can have like 5 bags of garbage and one lonely recycling bin? You can't possibly tell me that there is nothing in those bags that isn't actually recyclable!

A quick check of the city waste collection website shows you just how easy it actually is to recycle. They don't want you to bag or tie anything together. They don't care if the window is still in the envelope of the phone bill, you can still throw it in(something I didn't know until very recently so that's even more that I am able to recycle now) and you don't even have to sort everything. It all goes into one bin that can be bought for $5 at numerous places in town. They also don't have restrictions on what types of plastic they can take. Just as long as it has the little triangle symbol on it, not matter what number is in the centre, they want it.

So with what seem to be as very lax and easy to follow "rules" of recycling, it's unfathomable to me that people can produce an entire bag of garbage in just one week.

So why am I just noticing this now. Where we lived before, we had autobins in our backlane so nobody really knew who was throwing out how much. Actually being able to see on the front street in front of each individual house how much garbage actually gets produced? Eye opening.

So please, check out your city's waste website and find out what you can and cannot put in your blue box.

Just When You Think it's All Said and Done

It's so not. The house saga continues. I got two nasty letters from our hydro company today. First one says it's due on the 16th of August. Ok it's our final bill, but it's far more than it should be. Our lawyer paid it out. I have proof in my email account. Then I got a bill saying it's due on the 22nd of August and that it's past due. WTF! I got them on the same damn day for starters. The first due date isn't even here yet and oh ya, IT'S BEEN ALMOST PAID IN FULL! I only owe a few dollars. ARG!

I'm currently waiting for a supervisor to call me back. This is beyond ridiculous.

Party Planning Redux

I know it's early, but I'm really getting into planning my baby bunny's first birthday party. Invites are ordered and I'm just waiting on the final draft to be emailed to me for my approval and her birthday banner is on the way. I've planned out the fairly simple menu and even bought the hot dog buns today because I got a fantastic deal on them and they can live in the freezer. Her birthday dress is hanging in her closet and I made some practise cupcakes yesterday whilst waiting for hubby to finish my brakes.

I feel fairly prepared, but still feel like there is so much to do. I found a website that offers a tutorial at making poms which I am going to make into bunny tails. Hubby thinks I'm nuts, but oh well.You only turn one once, and I want this to be a very special day. But I think he has accepted that a lot of what I've done over the past 10.5 months was done for me. Just because she won't remember, I still will.

Brake Chase Redux

I'm still carless. The store gave me the wrong rear brakes and hubby couldn't put the old ones back on because they were rusted on and had to break them to get them off. Hubby has yet to call me to tell me that he has new ones and it's fixed. That worries me.


I'm rather annoyed. I had things to do today. Sure I could walk, but it's 40+ with the humidity. Sure I could take the bus, but it's a holiday today and they only come once an hour...and really who wants to drag bags of groceries on the bus? So I'm stuck.

So I'm doing some online shopping for my little girl's first birthday. At least it's not a total loss.